For your reading pleasure, I present The Tale of The Special Forces Cow,or, "Please Don't Step in My Beret"
(from the VNHFC network)

Back in my days as a young slick driver, it seemed to be my lot in life to provide first class transportation to any domestic animal that walked crawled or flew. Pulled into Duc Hoa one fine morning, just out doing the old III Corp Normal/ U Call, We Haul stuff. There, Right in the middle of the ramp, was a gaggle of SF & ARVN troopers with a cargo net all spread out. They appeared to be making a valiant attempt at getting one very large...,and very frightened cow, to walk out onto the net.

Now, as I was observing all this, it became quite obvious that there was not a cowboy, or even a farmboy in the bunch. All they needed was the football.....  They already had all the monkeys necessary!

I sat the aircraft down on the far end of the ramp( as far away from the action as I could get) and the SF Sgt.  came over to the left side of the aircraft. As the crew chief was opening my door, he stuck his head inside to explain his Bovine Dilemma. Seems that his people had decided that they wanted this cow out at Tra Cu, and someone had come up with the bright idea that the slick assigned to them for the day could sling it out to them.

Now this all sounded good in theory, and they were going to have old Elsie in the net and ready to go when I arrived. BUT, it seems Elsie had other ideas.  She wanted no parts of walking over onto that net.  From what he told me, they had pushed, pulled, prodded & poked at her for over an hour, and she was not about to move in that direction.

Never being one to get left out of any situation that was plainly headed straight down the shitter,...  I quickly volunteered to put the cow in the net.

I picked the aircraft up to a hover and began moving in on the cow from the front.
She was watching this strange predator coming toward her with eyes big as dinner plates, bawling so loud you could hear her over the roar of the helicopter. As she watched this monster get closer and closer, she tried to back away from it, and just backed right into the middle of the cargo net. The waiting assembly immediately pulled the net up around her, dropped the ring over the cargo hook on the old D Model, and I started to lift her free of the ground.

Much to my amazement, initially, the aircraft handled the strange load reasonably well, and the climb and acceleration to about 200-300 ft and  40kts was uneventful.

Then - - Reality set in.....  We were now about 2 klicks west of Duc Hoa, 300 ft in the air, with 2 females that did not like what was happening to them.  The gyrations of old Bossey had got the net to swinging from side to side, and was pulling the aircraft along with it as she swung. We could clearly hear her Bellow and scream, and also see the terror in her eyes, cause by this time ...  she was swinging so wildly we could see her out both doors.

M-o-o-o-o-o-, And we'de yaw to the right.  M-o-o-o-o-o, and we'de yaw left, all the while proceeding further and further from Duc Hoa at 300ft & now down to about 20kts over some of the worst Indian Country in III Corp.
Either Charlie was laughing so hard that he couldn't shoot, or he was sympathetic to our obvious plight, and we were able to complete the flight to Tra Cu unmolested. (by anything other than the cow)

Looking back on this debacle, I would have loved to have movie footage of this from the ground.  It must have been a strange and fearsom sight.

postscript: In early 67 It was my pleasure to spend an awful lot of time running the old III Corp Normal missions.
This consisted of sending 10 aircraft to the Bien Hoa soccer field, picking up 10 sets of mission assignments from 5th SF Group, and then flying to whatever province shown on the mission sheet.  You would then spend the entire day doing whatever the local SF Commanders desired.  It could be anything from picking a two week old corpse of a bloated Cambode Mercenary out of the river, to hauling the local Province Chief and his wife (or wives) or to the next dot on the map to see their long lost relatives.  It was wonderful!  The flying was some of the best I've ever had, and you sure got to know the territory like you never could if you were doing CA's all day.
I'd give a years pay to go right back and do it all over again.  You can tell those guys...thanks for the memories.

Tomahawk 18 - Slicks
   Gunslinger 34- Guns