1 butter
1 tsp. sugar
2 large eggs
1 c. dried fruit
baking powder
1 tsp. soda
lemon juice
brown sugar
nuts
 

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it?
Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be
justright. To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum
into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer
beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp. of thugar and beat
again. Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality. Try
another cup. Open second quart if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried
druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it
loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity.
Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter). Sample the
rum again. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained
nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix
mel. Grease oven and turn cake pan 350 degrees. Now pour the whole mess into
the boven, and ake. Check the rum again, and bo to ged.