Ducks & Bad Back & so forth
by Reggie

Last night, for no reason that I can figger, my back went "pow" for some
stupid reason when I stood up. Felt like I'd been stabbed right at the
belt level. Some better this morning but not much.
 

Had to go out back earlier to inspect Missy's PO-lice Call to see if she
missed anything. Noticed that the lake has a layer of duck feathers
extending out about four feet from the bank. Evidently, all the ducks
decided to molt at the same time. Suspect that we may have some naked,
non-flying ducks somewhere or other. Didn't see them though.
 

Took my 8-iron and a pocketful of golf balls with me on my inspection
tour (just in case I got attacked by a golf course). Hit those balls out
into the lake just to test my po' sore back. In my expert medical
opinion, the pain isn't bad enough to not go commit golf.
 

About PO-lice Call...... did ya ever notice that some sorryassed CSM's /
SGM's who didn't have a clue WTF they were really supposed to be doing
always resorted to three thing:  PO-lice call, grass cutting, and leaf
raking?
 

One Post CSM at Fort (yuk!) Dix and I used to have some real good
go-arounds about those things. Once, on the subject of leaf raking, I
told him that none of my soldiers were gonna rake not even one leaf. We
went back and forth over that for awhile. Told him that I was gonna call
the Post Engineers and have them bring their tractor-drawn gang mowers
and let them mulch the little foogers.
 

Another time, he called me on the phone.... said that as he was walking
out of the hospital he spied a piece of paper on the south lawn. Wanted
it picked up now. I axted him why he didn't pick it up when he spotted
it. And hung up on the stupid sumbitch..
 

One time, he wanted to know why I was "always in disagreeance"
(?????!!!!) with him. "Because you're such an ignorant fuck!"
 

I always liked to think that those three things were 'waaaaay down at
the bottom of my priority list.