Official Chair Tester
by Reg Manning

I just returned from taking Missy to get her Christmas present(s). She
has been moaning and/or groaning about "new furniture" for the den since
just about last Christmas. So tonight I took her to "The Village",
walked her into the (most expensive in the world) furniture store, and
told her to pick out whatever she wanted. I told her that while she was
doing that I was gonna take a ski mask and a handgun and go get the
money to pay for it. The very nice saleslady just about took a dump
right there in front of God and everybody when I said that.

But Missy did good. She only looked at what seemed to be about a hundred
different sofa and chair combinations before finding the "right" one.
Then she axt me if "this pattern looks right". FMeToTears! All of it
looks gray to me but I allowed as how I liked it and if that was what
she wanted, that she should get it. She said, "Fine".

Then she announced that she had to go look for another chair. I then
became the Official Chair Tester. Dunno why but I wasn't allowed to sit
on / test the sofa and matching chair. Prolly don't have enough rank or
will not be permitted to sit on it at any time in the future.

Found the part of the store which had the recliners and such. She told
me to "test" this one, and that one and that one. I liked the second
one. It's a rocker but it's also a recliner. I'll bet it will sleep real

Missy told the saleslady we'd take the three things and would pay cash
on the barrelhead provided we could get it delivered before Christmas.
She didn't know about that. I told her that I thought she could find out
right quick or we were going elsewhere.

She run off somewhere and directly came back and allowed as how it could
be done.

Here's the good part...... from the time we left the house until we got
back home was one hour and 10 minutes. And that's counting travel time.

Gotta be a New World's Record.

    Reg, Chair Tester 1Cl