(With profound apologies to all of those who have
  earned and worn with pride the Green, Black, or
  Maroon Berets)
The Ballad of the Black Berets

  Fighting Finance at their desk
  They'll pay some...and screw the rest
  For the grunts there'll be no pay
  "Cause now THEY wear a black beret

  Shield of shame upon their collar
  The AG Corps will whoop and holler
  Because they join the elite today
  As they don their black beret

  Up their ass with bugs and gas
  Chemical Corps is lightning fast
  They'll poison troops in great new ways
  'Cause now they have their black berets

  Medical Corps...reduced to tears
  No more hair below their ears
  Haircuts they must get today
  So they can wear a black beret

  Transportation--truck and troops
  In motor pools, in little groups
  No cargo moves at all today
  'Cause they can't drive with that black beret

  Spooks and Redlegs...they're a gas
  Shooting targets really fast
  Their aim's improved a bunch today
  'Cause now they've got their black berets

  Tanks and Bradleys in a row
  Roaring Treadheads, set to go
  Republican Guard a match--no way
  'Cause now they wear the black beret

  Air defenders shoot 'em down
  Patriots fly...wreckage on the ground
  They're first to fire, 'specially today
  'Cause now they, too, have a black beret

  The QM Corps supplies us all
  Our stuff's delayed...but they have a ball
  With crates of new hats on the way
  Now they're the elite with black berets

  MacArthur, Brad, and Shy Meyer, too
  Readiness problems, they're nothing new
  To raise morale, THEY found a way
  Didn't involve NO black beret

  Back at Benning, a young wife waits
  Her Ordinance Trooper has met his fate
  Black Beret he's wearing ...NOT
  Met some Rangers in a Parking Lot.

  Campbell, Bragg, and Lewis too
  Soldiers are PISSED...you know it's true
  After a five miles run in PT today
***********************************
The Ballad of the Black Beret

  Fighting Finance at their desk
  They'll pay some...and screw the rest
  For the grunts there'll be no pay
  "Cause now THEY wear a black beret

  Shield of shame upon their collar
  The AG Corps will whoop and holler
  Because they join the elite today
  As they don their black beret

  Up their ass with bugs and gas
  Chemical Corps is lightning fast
  They'll poison troops in great new ways
  'Cause now they have their black berets

  Medical Corps...reduced to tears
  No more hair below their ears
  Haircuts they must get today
  So they can wear a black beret

  Transportation-truck and troops
  In motor pools, in little groups
  No cargo moves at all today
  'Cause they can't drive with that black beret

  Spooks and Redlegs...they're a gas
  Shooting targets really fast
  Their aim's improved a bunch today
  'Cause now they've got their black berets

  Tanks and Bradleys in a row
  Roaring Treadheads, set to go
  Republican Guard a match-no way
  'Cause now they wear the black beret

  Air defenders shoot 'em down
  Patriots fly...wreckage on the ground
  They're first to fire, 'specially today
  'Cause now they, too, have a black beret

  The QM Corps supplies us all
  Our stuff's delayed...but they have a ball
  With crates of new hats on the way
  Now they're the elite with black berets

  MacArthur, Brad, and Shy Meyer, too
  Readiness problems, they're nothing new
  To raise morale, THEY found a way
  Didn't involve NO black beret

  Back at Benning, a young wife waits
  Her Ordinance Trooper has met his fate
  Black Beret he's wearing ...NOT
  Met some Rangers in a Parking Lot.

  Campbell, Bragg, and Lewis too
  Soldiers are pissed...you know it's true
  After a five miles run in PT today
  They'll probably burn THEIR damn berets.
**************