Of Aphrodisiacs and Oysters, Barristers and Cloisters...
by Bruce Koch

The Mother Superior named Royster,
Lived a pious life int the cloister,
        So very proper and prim,
        With a tight virginal quim,
Until Al Dunnem slipped her an oyster.

No ordinary Oyster was this,
known for inducing sexual bliss,
        The best that Pesos could buy,
        Certain to make the libido fly,
Liberally laced with Cantharides.

He thought it would be extremely amusing,
To subject her to feelings confusing,
        And he chortled with glee,
       As he anticipated to see,
Her method and manner of self abusing.

However with a countenance resembling a Gorgon,
And savagery equivalent to the pirate Morgan,
        From pulpit to pillar to pew,
        The callow Barrister she did pursue,
And finally, she did seize him by the organ!

Her lust and passion continued to grow,
She felled him with a wrestling hip throw,
        Of his garments he was shorn,
        Lying there defensless and forlorn,
As Gabriel's Horn she proceded to blow.

With haste almost tantamount to panic,
Using motions most urgent and frantic,
        Her ardor still unchilled.
        Her every fantasy she fulfilled,
And she performed every perverted antic.!

The result was a gross sexual scandal,
The Barrister had more than he could handle,
        And his heart nearly stopped,
        Before hismanhood she dropped,
Then he crawled to the altar and lit a candle.

He lay there in the wreckage of the cloister,
Reflecting on the deceit upon which he did foist'er,
        "My wise words you should heed,
        Don't perpetrate the foul deed,
Of feeding a horny nun a spiked oyster"