Walter Rubel
by Ray Chambers

This story starts late in the year of 1959, probably September or early October; the weather had not really started to get to cold at night. It was monday morning, just prior to the first and only formation of the day for those folks who were on duty at the 77th Group Headquarters. We were running an SFOB for the FA teams who were out in the wild, wild west, most likely at Camp Hale trying to make like mountain goats.

As I was walking through the barracks that morning I came upon Walter. He looked like he had tangled with the oft-mentioned she lion or at least a very tame pussy cat. Scratches covered the sides of his face and the back of his neck. One lip was all puffed out and one eye was starting to swell shut and had the making of a very fine shiner. He looked like he was the aftermath of a very bad fight, or at least a very bad hangover and bad dream.

As the time drew near for the morning formation, Walter started to tell his story about falling in love with a fair maiden from Lumberton, or somewhere in that area. He said that he thought she was from the Indian reservation. After a long pause and a very deep sigh, Walter confessed that he thought he was finally in love. I had to call it lust, and you will learn why in a minute.

I do not know how many may know of Walter's love life, but as it has been posted he was a very energetic little man and he did everything at "Full Steam Ahead". So, while he danced around, he started to tell me of his greate st fantasy: to find a woman who was at least 5 ft 10 inches tall and weighed in around 175 - 200 pounds -- not really fat just very husky with lots of muscle and boobs that would provide a safe haven from the rains (size 40 Double D would be acceptable).

The sparkle in Walter's eyes revealed the true inner soul of the man: I believed that he was truely smitten by the love bug. He danced and squirmed, refusing to be still while the assignments of the day were passed out. Yes, I did believe that old Walter Rubel was really in love. He continued the story about how he fell upon this lovely lass of greater-than-life proportions and went into the more intimate details that the woman he would most cherish had to have.

As some others who may well know Walter even better than I are aware, Walter would go off the deep end when trying to explain exactly what he wanted or was going to do. What he started to describe as a sexual turn on for him was to find the woman he described, but with a clitoris as big in diameter as his thumb and as long as his little finger. He had always dreamed of laying between mammoth thighs with his head upon the pubic bone and this clitoris in his mouth, then sucking upon the item of his desire as a baby sucks upon its bottle. Walter believed that this would provide the woman with an orgasm so intense that she would go rigid and squeeze her legs together and smoother Walter into unconsciousness.

To this day I cannot bring myself to doubt this man or his exploits. I, as others who have known this man, may look back and say, "That sucker was an absolute nut case." But he was a man who had no fear and would try anything once. If it did not kill him and it provided some joy, then he would do it again until the novelity wore off. He always considered that he was bullet proof and nothing could bring about his demise. He had suffered through World War II and came out, as he believed, a much better man. I can honestly say he always tried to prove it, for there was nothing he would not do...

Yes, I remember a friend by the name of Walter Rubel, even if he was a nut...... He was one of us, and he wore his beret proudly.