Night of the BAC

My story about them fuckin' cow fields (pastures) outside of Bad Tölz
And this is no shit...... well, there is some and the story is true!

My team from the 11th was OCONUS to REFORGER in 1983. We did our isolation phase for the mission at the Luftwaffe base called Fürstenfeldbruck where the Israeli athletes and Black September terrorists were killed during the Munich Olympics.

Pretty typical stuff, we deployed to our AO via MC-130 from the USAF 3rd SOW into a DZ called "DITCH". The night we jumped in everything seemed okay. Off the tailgate and into the cool September night I went. On the way to the ground the DZ looked pretty good......fairly large, no trees or ponds and the full moon lit the place like daylight. Things looked good and I was happy.

I released my lowering line and hit the ground about 30 seconds later. No problem, all my major body parts were still present and accounted for so I grabbed my lowering line and pulled my ruck over to where I was standing.....more on this in a minute.

Well I was in the middle of doffing my parachute, undoing all of the straps and my weapons container when something hit me square in the middle of the back pushing me forward. I put my hands out and caught myself but the ground felt muddy. Funny, it hadn't rained....hmmm.

My first thought was "fuckin 10th Group guys want to fuck with the reservists by putting aggressors on the DZ" and I'm getting ready to bitch slap someone as I was rather aggressive in my youth. Well, I turned around and was face to face with this BIG FUCKING COW! Not expecting this, I nearly jumped out of my boots but quickly regained my composure. Well I decided to wipe my "muddy" hands off on old Bossy and drive on.

So here I am rolling up my chute when I notice that I am now surrounded by a ring of cows. No big deal I give a few of them a pat on the head and continue going about my business but something just doesn't seem right - the BLMs on the DZ! Yes, the Bavarian Land Mine courtesy of my hosts, the Bavarian Attack Cows!!

When I pulled my ruck by the lowering line over to where I stood, I dragged it through several BLMs. Then it hit me.....it wasn't mud that my hands went into either. For the rest of this FTX, whenever I turned my head, I got an olfactory reminder of my pals, the Bavarian Attack Cows. Since most of the available water seemed to be runoff from the cow fields (pastures), washing off my cow shit was somewhat ineffective. I could hardly eat as I was pretty grossed out.

As bad as I smelled, one of my buds hit the DZ and a BAC got tangled in his suspension lines, dragging him through several BLMs until he could cut away. I smelled spring fresh compared to him but basically, the whole team reeked of cow shit.

I must have scrubbed my web gear till it was white when I got back to Flint Kaserne!

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