- Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer
- Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use
the bubbles are always white?
- Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
- Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
- On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one
slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really
gonna try to stuff in that slot?
- Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
- cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give their vacuum one more chance?
- Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end
you first try?
- How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
- Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use
them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?
- Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept
drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
- When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say,
'Its all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That
hurt, you stupid idiot'?
- Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get
to the top you always think there's still one more step?
- Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else
- Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a
trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
- In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was
in summer when we complained about the heat?
- Why do women always ask questions that have no right
- Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
- Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what the heck happened?
- If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best
friend, who really is the dumber sex?
- Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays?
Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
- Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a
sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the
sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be
bedridden for weeks?
- How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
- Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
- Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American
- Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all
there's no sense in two people remembering the same things.
- Is the real reason women live longer than men because they
don't have to live with women?
- If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it
like your wife told you to?
- How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have
- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only
a "penny for your thoughts" Where's that extra penny going to?
- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes
you were buried in for eternity?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out
it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when
babies wake up like every two hours?
- Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money
in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- How come we choose from just two people for President and
fifty for Miss America?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're
going to see you naked anyway.
- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I
wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
- When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we
could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.
- Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but
they can in prison?
- If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called labor!
- Why is it that brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat
cells live forever?