-----Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

 My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

  The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.  

    I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.  

   I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

   I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

   I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

  The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

   If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

And last but not least:    I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

   You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!