- Don't name a pig you plan to eat....

- Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong....

- LIfe is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce...

- Keep skunks and bankers at a distance....

- Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps....

- Mortgaging a future crop is like saddling a wobbly colt....

- A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor....

- Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked....

- Don't go skinny dipping with snapping turtles....

- Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled....

- Meanness don't happen overnight....

- To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses....

- Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful....

- Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open....

- Forgive your enemies....it messes with their heads....

- Don't sell your mule to buy a plow....

- Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat....

- Don't corner something meaner than you....

- You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies....

- Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds....

- It doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge....

- Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug....

- It's hard to unsay a cruel thing already said....

- Every path has some puddles....

- When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty....

- The best sermons are lived, not preached....

- Most of the stuff people worry about never happens, so don't pick up sticks to build bridges
  you will never cross....

- Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters....